I gave this a 5.5 for 2 reasons. First, it is redolent of coconut, and since I am 1/8 Hawaiian it made my cells start to do a little hula dance (haole's call this getting a "buzz". Whatever). Second, I am drinking this on my birthday and everything, even the wilted salad I had for lunch, tastes better today. Also, it is a rich, sweet, syrupy yet complex beer, if you give it the time to play a little on the tongue. Good thing we bough two, even though it meant we had to take out a second mortgage on our house...

Slightly smoky with a carmel finish. This beer chased me down and slapped me around like a malty claymore. Ha!

I thought I was becoming too fond of sludgy and inebriating barrel-aged stouts to really love any regular old stout the way I used to. This Scottish Stout, however, is quite nice. Crisp, comfy, coffee-favored, and doesn't hit you over the head.

I found this stout to be pretty weak and bland, and definitely not good with sushi.

Ok, i'm giving this a high rating for two reasons: first, it tasted like liquified flourless chocolate cake, which is the best cake because it's rich and chocolatey and fatty without all of that useless flour-poison that Gwyneth Paltrow tells me I shouldn't eat if I want to look emaciated like her. Second, because on a Saturday night when Xbox One has ONCE AGAIN ruined date night this was like a platonic chocolate and alcohol hug. Some girls just eat Ben and Jerry's straight out of the container...

"Narwhal", really? Narwhal's were trendy 4 years ago. Just sayin'... This was an interesting stout - less sweet than I was expecting. To me it tasted like a very mild and dark IPA. Dark, bitter, not very sweet...probably prone to holding grudges against seafaring gentlemen.

Hot damn, this here's a sippin' beer! It's thick and jammy, like a highly alcoholic slice of raisin bread. I do not think I will attempt one whole bottle on my own, but if I ever do I really hope someone takes my keys away from me.

Nope...nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm sure it is a fine beer, but this just isn't my style. My tastebuds feel hurt and abused.

This is the first canned beer I have imbibed since I overspent on a 6-pack of Churchkey in order to impress my hipster friends. Definitely had a tongue-full of salt on the first taste but after that I found it to be kind of delightful. Dehydrating, but delightful.

Thick, sweet, malty, hints of cherry and most important of all, a pretty garnet colored brew. Pretty libations always taste better.

Maybe this tasted so thin and uninteresting because I had it right after the BL Second Sight Strong Scotch Ale, but for some reason it just tasted weak and well, like a Guiness. I like me some stout, but this girl is no fan of Guiness...

Nice color, syrupy and wine-tasting.

Tasted like a weak cup of Folger's coffee. I also couldn't sleep after drinking it, so I have to say that the best part of waking up is NOT Tamerlane Brown Porter in my cup. Bleh.

Mango-sweet with a strong bitter bite at the finish.

Light and floral with a hint of citrus and waaaayyy more bitter than I would expect of a mere pale.

Light, crisp, funky (beery funky, not quirky funky). Nice summer beer...in small quantities.

This is a syrupy, honey-flavored brew with a curiously stubborn rubber cork-stopper. Jordan's crazy algorithm said he would LOVE it and I would HATE it, but actually I love it and he feels ambivalent, which just goes to show you that computers can't plumb the depths of the human spirit (or tastebuds).

I would rather drink Miller Light than this beer. It smelled like laundry that has been sitting in my washing machine for 48-hours and tasted like old cheese that was watered down and left out in the sun for a week. It did have a lovely peachy color. Also, there was a dubious sticker on the bottle that had obviously been added after the label, covering up the alcohol volume percentage. It made me wonder what the ACTUAL alcohol volume percentage of stinky laundry-cheese-water is, since they were apparently trying to hide whatever they had originally printed on the label. Bleh.

Weak. This so-called "chocolate stout" tasted like watered down bison stew. Bleh!